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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25352470">The Come-Hither Housecoat</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Konbini/pseuds/Konbini'>Konbini</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Monk (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adrian's Ankles, Episode Tag, M/M, Mr. Monk Falls in Love, Mr. Monk is innocence itself, Randy misunderstands, mentions Mr. Monk and the Redheaded Stranger, mentions Mr. Monk is up all Night, s07e06, silliness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:28:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,159</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25352470</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Konbini/pseuds/Konbini</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There isn't a word for how gobsmacked Randy feels when they go to arrest the Perp and find Monk there.</p><p>In a silk housecoat.</p><p>(Randy goes from Cop Mode to Date Mode)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Randy Disher/Adrian Monk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Come-Hither Housecoat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There isn't a word for how gobsmacked Randy feels when they go to arrest the Perp and find Monk there.</p><p>In a silk housecoat. </p><p>Pants-less.</p><p>Ankles</p><p>Flashing.</p><p>It's the most flesh Monk's ever exposed in his presence - Monk must know it too by the subtly shy way he rears back. Not that it's <em>for</em> him. Randy knows that, he's not stupid.</p><p>No, it's for the perp. The murderess.</p><p>"You can't be here Monk." Randy says, serious. He's actually worried about Monk, is the thing.</p><p>Still it's not like Monk knew he and the Captain would be here - which somehow makes it more salacious. Obscene in a way that makes Randy itch. Monk - <em>Monk</em> of all people! - has been caught with his pants down.</p><p>Monk looks suave like that, shirt still buttoned up to the collar, wrapped in silk like a present.</p><p>He twists his gold wedding band in his hands - and it's<em> sin</em> incarnate. It's like the worst type of temptation - a sordid invitation from someone so...from Monk - <em>Adrian</em> <em>Monk</em>. Randy's heartbeat picks up.</p><p>"Wow." He says, a little dour - he's uncomfortable and, inexplicably, a little angry, "Can I just say - wow."</p><p>Monk and Trudy forever. At least, that's what Randy had thought.</p><p>But this - catching Monk post-coital -</p><p>And of course he still smells so fresh. Still has his shirt buttons all tidy.</p><p>If he took the housecoat off he'd just be wearing a man's dress shirt.</p><p>Like he's been conquered.</p><p>But of course that thought doesn't make sense - it's his <em>own</em> shirt.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Randy feels conflicted. On one hand he's put out - because something he'd thought was so pure has been dirtied - grubbed up.</p><p>On the other hand... <em>filthy</em> is what Randy likes best. And the fact that it's coming from Monk blindsides him. But then again - that's probably why it's so filthy in the first place.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They wrap up the case. It takes a twist no one is expecting - and that costs Monk his lady friend.</p><p>Randy's watches from the bull pen.</p><p>Monk looks pale and sad and 'Leyla' just looks angry. Randy can relate - he's had lots of relationships end in a similar way.</p><p>Randy situates himself inside the door frame, arm artfully arranged and braced above his shoulder in a masculine lean. Women go crazy for that.</p><p>Monk turns and sees him.</p><p>His eyes are a little wet.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Randy asks before he takes a few steps closer.</p><p>Monk turns into him, not touching of course, but he settles into the space Randy is closing between them in agitation. Like he's looking to be comforted and isn't sure Randy is up to the task.</p><p>Randy stops him with a firm hand to his shoulder.</p><p>"Women." Randy sighs, and claps Monk's shoulder a few times.</p><p>Monk deflates.</p><p>"Look. I know what will make you feel better." Randy says, "A drink at the bar. Just one."</p><p>Randy tacks on the end with a little wiggle of suggestion. He knows Monk isn't a drinker.</p><p>Monk looks almost desperate enough to try it.</p><p>His eyebrows furrow and his expressive eyes close in pain.</p><p>"Maybe..." Monk says, "But I hate sitting there alone."</p><p>It occurs to Randy he's been misconstrued. That Monk, for all his intellect, doesn't realize what's happening. Doesn't see Randy as a man. Or at least not a man who is interested in him. Can't hear the invitation.</p><p>"I, uh, I could go with you."</p><p>"O-Okay." Monk agrees, voice cracking in surprise.</p><p>"Great, it's a date." Randy says, enunciating clearly so that he isn't misunderstood.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Randy tells Natalie not to wait up. As much as she looks like she wants to vet him she seems to think better of it and appreciate the night off.</p><p>They leave his car at the station and walk to the pub down the street.</p><p>"B-but if you're drinking...how-" Monk points back at the police lot, "how are you going to get me home?"</p><p>"Monk." Randy says seriously, "Trust me. I will get you home safe. I always get my dates home safe."</p><p>Monk calms at that. It shouldn't be intoxicating, that Monk trusts him, but it is.</p><p>"Well okay."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They take a booth at the back of the pub. Randy orders a beer and he orders Monk a bourbon - neat, with club soda on the side, when Monk waffles in indecision too long. He asks that they make sure the glass is extra polished and gets an unimpressed look before he folds a five dollar tip into the waitress' palm.</p><p>"Neat." Monk's mouth wraps around the word in delight, and he smiles.</p><p>Randy doesn't smile back on habit - as if they're on a case. Monk's smile slowly fizzles out before it's gone without so much as a pop. It makes Randy feel bad. Monk hardly smiles as it is.</p><p>Randy clears his throat to get Monk's attention and when he does he smiles brightly at him. Monk smiles shyly back before looking away in embarrassment.</p><p>It's adorable. Randy smirks.</p><p>Randy's firmly in 'Date' mode now.</p><p>They get their drinks. Randy commandeers Monk's - careful to touch it only the bare amount by the bottom of the glass - and pours the club soda in before handing it to the man.</p><p>Monk grimaces at it, then sips at it under Randy's supervision. His face lights up in surprise.</p><p>"This is so much better than the last time I tried it." Monk says, excited.</p><p>"When was that?" Randy asks, thinking not for the first time that he doesn't know Monk as well as he'd thought.</p><p>"Oh, you know, that time when I couldn't sleep."</p><p>Trudy's eyes.</p><p>They're both thinking it. Randy had forgotten about it. It would be depressing but Randy is in Date Mode. Traumatic back stories are not his specialty per say, but he can be sensitive when it's called for.</p><p>"I remember." Randy says, reaches forward to brush his hand against Monk's.</p><p>Monk is slightly perturbed but when he brushes it off he's covert about it and it makes Randy smile behind his beer.</p><p>Very likely, Monk is going to be having Randy's hands many more places than just that.</p><p>"You were wearing Captain America pajamas." Monk says.</p><p>Randy really doesn't need the reminder, it's embarrassing. But then Monk catches his expression and says conciliatory,</p><p>"It was winsome."</p><p>And alright Randy can be 'winsome', even though he thinks it's probably the opposite of what he wants to portray.</p><p>"Sorry we didn't, you know, believe you." Randy says.</p><p>Monk shrugs and picks up his drink with both hands like it's the holy grail. He sips at it. He sighs like he's thinking of Leyla. Randy pithily thinks to himself that he has no problem being the rebound.</p><p>Suddenly the very untouchable Mr. Monk has become attainable - Leyla! after all - and Randy glories in the fact once again.</p><p>"What's your favorite shape?" Randy asks him, then clarifies, "I mean if you had to pick between things being round or square. What would you pick?"</p><p>Monk's head tilts curiously to the side.</p><p>"Squares." He flusters, "Because there's four sides."</p><p>It's probably the strangest date talk Randy's ever engaged in. But from there he takes it over to Monk's other interests - like rock polishing and art work. Each time Monk gets more and more interested, more flustered, more flattered. He's right where Randy wants him when Monk says oh so casually,</p><p>"What about you? You have your music."</p><p>They've been talking about Monk's art work and Randy may have generously called him an artist.</p><p>But - the music thing - that's where Randy's soul lives. And Monk's touched it. Randy feels immensely flattered.</p><p>"Oh. That." Randy says airily, but he's probably smiling all goofy. His girlfriends had found it charming, until they had to sit through his jam sessions.</p><p>"I...play clarinet." Monk says bashfully, "Nothing like what you do but..."</p><p>The 'but' part of the sentence seems to hold a suggestion.</p><p>Randy feels bad he'd forgotten that Monk played. Remembers his steadfast jealousy and how he'd thought Monk didn't deserve to be on the air with Willie Nelson.</p><p>"Nevermind." Monk says quickly which is what clues Randy in that it's taken him too long to answer.</p><p>"You want to jam with me?" Randy says, even to his own ears his voice sounds confused.</p><p>Monk shakes his head quickly in the negative.</p><p>"I'm not very good."</p><p>Randy is aware he's probably the one that should be saying that. Despite his foolhardy persona he still picks up on what other people think of his music. It makes Randy a little sad that the Captain is steadfastly against jamming out together after that one time. Then he thinks of Monk, who the Captain would never even entertain or spare a thought to jamming out with and feels a little better. A little sadder for Monk though.</p><p>"I'd like that." Randy says, then more firmly, "Yeah! Let's do that."</p><p>"Well we can stop by and get my clarinet from my place." Monk says, bright eyed.</p><p>The thing is though - Randy had different expectations for the night. Not sex, per se. He'd never be that presumptuous. But he'd been hoping...he weighs the pros and cons. Pro : It gets Monk closer to his bed. Con : Once they start jamming they're not going to be able to stop.</p><p>"What the heck," Randy throws a hand up, "Let's do it."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They take a cab - which Randy pays for like the gentleman he is. Or has become anyway. He still remembers the way he used to pull pigtails (Sharona comes to mind) and feels a little embarrassed.</p><p>At Monk's apartment Randy dutifully comes to Monk's side of the cab but he's already opened the door for himself. He freezes when he sees a puddle though and Randy is enthused at the chance to be polite once more as he reaches for him and pulls him over the puddle. Monk thanks him warmly then disappears and reappears in short order - with a clarinet and a few bottles of water tucked under his arm.</p><p>They crowd into Disher's garage, florescent light harsh in the night.</p><p>It's immediately apparent that Monk is technical and precise, rigid and inflexible. He tries, oh how he tries. It's frustrating for Randy to even watch. But he just can't get the laid back, improvised rhythm Randy is strumming out. Randy tries to go a little more technical but it's not his strong suit.</p><p>He can tell Monk notices and appreciates the effort though. He's got that soft and helpless look in his eyes he sometimes gets.</p><p>"I guess it isn't working." Monk says in dismay, his collar open one button.</p><p>The drink really must have loosened him up.</p><p>"Ah, well." Randy sighs, tries for disappointed but doesn't quite manage it. "We can do something else I guess."</p><p>He's anticipating that <em>something</em> else quite thoroughly.</p><p>"Come," he says and leads Monk back into the house.</p><p>They get more drinks from the kitchen.</p><p>"I've already had more than enough." Monk says when Randy hands him a beer.</p><p>"Please?" Randy says, which gets him to take it.</p><p>Randy takes the bottle of water Monk offers him as a quid pro quo.</p><p>Monk sniffs at the beer, pretends to drink it, and hopelessly wipes at the sweat making its way down the bottle.</p><p>"I guess I should go home." Monk says.</p><p>"Why don't you stay the night?" Randy suggests.</p><p>Is that how Leyla got him into bed?</p><p>"Oh I couldn't. I mean, I wish I could. But you know....bed sheets and all that." Monk waves his hand around.</p><p>He's trying not to be rude. Randy's sheets will never be as clean as his and they both know it.</p><p>"Don't leave." Randy says.</p><p>Monk's face flushes at the command and shortly afterwards he nods.</p><p>"Okay." his voice is strangled.</p><p>Monk stands awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Randy would bet his left arm that in these situations Monk's always had someone else lead. Randy doesn't intend to disappoint.</p><p>Randy shouldn't still be calling Monk by his surname, not after a successful date.</p><p>"Can I call you Adrian?" Randy asks.</p><p>It feels a little strange but also a little thrilling. Randy's a little worried that he's going to screw up and miss his mark. Although that's rare when he's in date mode.</p><p>Monk's expression is something hopeful almost - tampered by a weariness. He looks surprised.</p><p>"Oh, of course." He says and smiles at Randy.</p><p>And Randy is set to make his move soon. It's actually a wonder he hasn't made it yet. Some dates are already on their walk of shame out of his room this late in the night. Only Randy feels Monk needs a little more attention, a little more romancing.</p><p>Maybe it's a bit stupid of Randy but he almost can't shake the idea that Monk might be too pure for this. Even though he'd seen him with his own eyes - soft and winding straight from Leyla's bed. Not a one night stand, Randy will admit. But then Randy isn't meaning for this to be either. And Monk has known him far longer than he'd known Leyla. Monk <em>trusts</em> him.</p><p>So Randy is set to make his move soon. Only something keeps holding him back. It takes him a moment to puzzle what. He has to briefly decanter into 'Cop Mode'.</p><p>He realizes abruptly what it is and feels stupid at the revelation. Guilt. Maybe exactly because Monk trusts him. Because how Monk is now - sweet and wide eyed, giving Randy his full attention - aligns exactly with his image of Monk before it was despoiled by Leyla. And that brings the realization that he could have gotten here from there then, if he'd really wanted to. He was only enticed to act, though, by the thought of getting between Monk's legs.</p><p>He realizes with horror that he's not being real respectful to Monk.</p><p>He still has moments like that sometimes, moments that blind side him and make him feel like shit. One time he forgot to give his date money for a cab home afterward, one time he'd forgotten to call for two weeks straight, one time he hadn't opened the car door. This time he's been kind of a cad. He realizes it's not that Monk is suddenly 'available' but rather that he anticipated putting in rather less effort.</p><p>"Um...Randy?" Monk says, after Randy hasn't said anything for a moment.</p><p>Randy's frozen in indecision. After all, it can't be that bad if<em> Adrian</em> falls into bed with him, right? That's <em>Adrian</em>'s choice. Randy might feel bad that he hadn't been interested before but Monk doesn't have to know that, does he?</p><p>"I'd like to take you to bed." Randy says, but it doesn't come out sexy. It comes out frustrated because he already knows he isn't going to. At least not tonight, it'd feel too much like taking advantage.</p><p>"-But the sheets." Monk says weakly.</p><p>"What did you do about the sheets at Leyla's?" Randy says offhandedly, not really expecting an answer.</p><p>Monk's head tips to the side in confusion.</p><p>Cute. As it always is.</p><p>"What sheets?" Monk asks, obviously confused, "I didn't sleep at Leyla's. I got splashed by a truck and she was kind enough to let me borrow her late husband's robe while we dried my pants."</p><p>It makes terrifyingly perfect sense of course. Randy feels himself turning green. He doesn't know what he'll do if Monk recoils from him, calls him out as the pervert he very much is. Monk is squeamish - how could Randy have forgotten that?</p><p>The moment passes though and Randy calms. The revelation from earlier isn't so easily shaken. The conviction that he could have gotten closer to Monk at any time, only he hadn't cared to put in the effort to try until he'd been salaciously provoked. Monk's return to his former uprightness is actually a relief. Randy feels something ease in his chest.</p><p>"What about the ring?" he asks.</p><p>"I was cleaning it."</p><p>Of course he was. Randy looks him over then with fresh eyes. Monk, mussed by his own exacting standards, standing lost in Randy's living room. It all slots into place. Monk was trying to be friends, trying to be 'one of the guys' and had no doubt been blessedly thankful when Randy had let him.</p><p>Randy reminds himself, a little shamefully, that they could have done something like this anytime too.</p><p>He shouldn't spoil it now. So he doesn't.</p><p>Instead he sighs deeply.</p><p>"I guess we should get you home, it's pretty late."</p><p>"Okay." Monk says, his tone sounding like he knows he's done something wrong, "I'm sorry. The sheets are just..."</p><p>"I understand." Randy says, "They haven't been boiled."</p><p>Monk nods, beaming with gratefulness that Randy seems to understand.</p><p>Randy calls a cab and Monk seems surprised when he settles in beside him.</p><p>"I just want to make sure you get in alright." Randy explains, "Otherwise I'll be worrying all night."</p><p>Monk looks positively touched by the sentiment.</p><p>"Thank you Randy."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next day Randy comes around to Monk's apartment. It's his day off (and Natalie's) so he knows Monk will be home. If Randy's not been called in then for sure Monk hasn't been either.</p><p>He knocks on the door, realizes belatedly it was three knocks when there's no answer and throws in one more to make it an even four.</p><p>"Good Morning Lieutenant Disher." Monk greets.</p><p>"Randy's fine."</p><p>"Randy." Monk corrects.</p><p>"Adrian." Randy says, just to say it.</p><p>It sits a little strangely between them. Randy chortles and Monk huffs in amusement, both acknowledging the strangeness.</p><p>"I'd really like to see you again." Randy says.</p><p>Then he leans further into Monk's space, slowly so the man can shift away, and ghosts his lips across Monk's.</p><p>Monk stares at him with blatant shock as he backs off, then turns as red as a cherry tomato. His lower lip trembles and for a moment Randy thinks he's going to cry. Well, if Monk isn't going to hit him for this he knows the Captain will - just for making Monk cry.</p><p>He belatedly laments that he probably shouldn't have lead with anything approximately physical intimacy.</p><p>"I brushed my teeth like ten times." Randy says in supplication.</p><p>Monk's expression takes a turn into admiration as he swallows thickly.</p><p>"Oh - how thoughtful." Monk says.</p><p>"Better than chocolates and flowers right?" Randy jokes.</p><p>"Yes!" Monk agrees passionately.</p><p>He seems to be thinking it all over. It's apparent Randy has blindsided him. He seems confused for a second before the flush of being flattered takes back over. He seems to make up his mind, although he's more than a little abashed when he flings the door open wider and makes room,</p><p>"Would you like to come in?"</p><p>He's preternaturally nervous until Randy catches his gaze and smiles at him, a little chagrined.</p><p>The tension drains from Monk's shoulders and he shyly smiles back.</p><p>Randy counts that as a win.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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